Gay Elephant Cheesecake!

My friend's birthday was back on February 18th, and I wanted to make her the perfect thing. She is the best person to make gifts for, because she's one of those people who talks about the things she loves, and loves loving the things she loves. Among all of the things I could have made, I decided to marry cheesecake, rainbows and her absolute favorite animal: elephants, together into one amazing giant cheesecake.

The happiest birthday girl!

I used the Rainbow Cheesecake from Tablespoon.com, and it's amazing. Not only does it walk through how to make the rainbow, but it also holds up as just a regular cheesecake. With 2 pounds of cream cheese, a cup of both heavy whipping cream and sour cream, you just can't go wrong. I've made a couple cheesecakes in the past, but I have to say that this one blew the other ones out of the water. I also feel as though I received the best compliment a person could receive, when unbeknownst to me, Mishan decided she was going to split up the cake and give some to all 20 or so people at the party.

Sans elephants. Surprisingly symmetrical!

Having never made this cake, I found myself very nervous, but after receiving compliments from every single person present, I could not have felt better about the way things turned out. Even the small slice I had made me feel satisfied, and the next day I had people tell me they had dreams about my cake! Could not have been happier about this.

Although the outside looks like silly concentric circles, the inside is an explosion of color. Every piece had a ton of all 6 colors of the rainbow, although I don't have a decent picture of the inside, unfortunately.

This was fantastic, and fun, to make. It also wow'ed an entire party of people I hardly knew, and even myself. I would certainly encourage everyone to make this at some point. Even if you don't like the rainbow part Or the elephant part...), it makes a perfect cheesecake nonetheless.

How To Impress People Without Actually Being Impressive IV: Truffles!

There's something about the words 'white chocolate' that really impresses people. It's not like it's any different, or more expensive than other chocolates, but there's something about it that makes people think of fancy occasions and baked goods that you can only find in bakeries, made by people who went to college to get some kind of white chocolate degree.

Certainly these were not made in a kitchen, or photographed in a living room!

And then, you follow 'white chocolate' by the word 'truffles' and suddenly people are really waiting to hear you speak. Their ears perking up at the idea of gourmet truffles, and their brains working at full capacity trying to figure out what kind of rich and genius person you are.

The secret is: white chocolate is just like any other chocolate, and truffles are really, really easy to make.

What You'll need:

- 1 Cup Heavy Whipping Cream
- 24 oz. chocolate chips (I used white chocolate, but any kind will do)
- 20 oz. Melting chocolate (I used vanilla flavored almond bark, but as long as it's chocolate, and you can melt it, it will work)
- Miniature cupcake liners (optional)
- Optional add ins (Liquor, nuts, etc....I omitted these things but simply added some sprinkles)

How To Do It:

1. In a sauce pan, bring your heavy whipping cream to a simmer.

2. Slowly whisk in chocolate chips. after chocolate is melted, now would be the time to add any add ins, if you want.
2a. White chocolate is slightly different than other chocolate in that it will not be as thick as, say, milk chocolate ganache right off the bat. If using white chocolate, put in fridge for about 60 - 90 minutes, stirring it with a fork or whisk occasionally.

3. Leave your ganache in the fridge for about 2 - 3 hours until it's cold and able to be molded.

4. Using either gloved/washed hands or a melon baller, roll your ganache into balls. Leave these in your fridge for at least 4 hours (overnight would be ideal).

5. Melt your chocolate, and using a spoon, roll each truffle in the chocolate. Place either directly on your miniature cupcake liners (if desired) or wax paper. If you are adding sprinkles, nuts, or whatever else as decoration, add it on while the chocolate is still a little warm.

6. Cool in refrigerator for 15 - 20 minutes to solidify the chocolate.

7. Truffles can be served cold, but are best at room temperature!

Although these are somewhat time consuming with refrigeration, they're a great dessert, and you're certain to impress everyone. Enjoy!

How to Make Cake Truffles Without Using Frosting (How To Impress People Without Actually Being Impressive III)

If you're anything like me, you've had a Starbucks addiction since there was one digit in your age (yes, I know I'm showing my age :P). Maybe it started with their hot chocolate, or those chocolate-covered graham crackers next to the register, and soon it was frappuccinos and Coldplay CDs when you were young and full of angst, then one day you had a paper due the next day and you sucked down that black coffee for hours until they closed. Then one day, even further down the line, you realized you're a grown up and you're sitting by their fire place drinking a half-caff mega galactic whatever-ma-bob mochaccino with your New York Times, and one of their muffins and you think "Oh Dear God. I have to kick this habit."

So you stay away. You start brewing coffee at home, and soon you're looking at prices of espresso machines at 2 A.M. and Googling "How do I make a blueberry streusel muffin like Starbucks?" because it's been like two whole weeks since you've had one, but you're so close to overcoming your addiction. And then one day, word gets to you. They have cake truffles. On a stick.

How can you compete? What does that even mean? How can cake be a truffle?

Let me tell you, you can stop googling "Cake Pop + Starbucks", because I've beat the competition. With three ingredients and almost no time at all, you can make cake pops better than those guys, and impress everyone you know.

Most cake truffle recipes call for frosting, which to me, sounds too sugary, too distracting, and doesn't let the cake reach peak moisture for optimum enjoyment. By using flavored creamer, not only can you add diversity to your truffles, but you can turn around and have matching-flavored coffee (or a latte, if you bought that espresso machine at 2 A.M.). A lot of truffles are also covered in just plain melted chocolate, but I used ganache instead because, well, it's tastier. If you're feeling adventurous, you could always cover your layer of ganache with a layer of chocolate...who could say no to that?

If you made my Oreo Cheesecake, then you already have some of the stuff you need, if you didn't, here's the whole recipe.

What you'll need:

I already have ganache made, but if you don't, it's very easy!

-A cake (I used a Dark Chocolate Box mix)
-Ganache (Heavy Whipping cream + Chocolate Chips)
-Flavored creamer

How to make it:

1. Break your cake up into chunks and place in a large mixing bowl.

2. Using a fork, break it up into crumbs. This will take awhile, so I would recommend putting on an episode of your favorite sitcom to make things a little more interesting as you do so.

3. I did not measure out my creamer, I put it in slowly, and moistened all crumbs with a fork. I put in enough that it's almost like wet dough (If I were to guess, I'd say close to 1/4th of a cup for one 9" round cake). It should be moist enough to stick together, but not puddle-y. Add slowly, and stop when it seems right. For me, I thought 'this is just a tad too wet!', and they were perfect.

4. If you're looking for perfect proportions, ou can use a melon-baller, but I just used my hands to roll the gooey crumbs into balls.

5. Freeze for 60 - 90 minutes.

6. When your truffles are in the freezer, make some ganache. To do this, use a 1:3 ratio of Heavy Whipping Cream:Chocolate (I used 1 cup of heavy whipping cream and 3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips, but you can make more or less). Heat the heavy whipping cream in a sauce pan until it's simmering, then slowly add the chocolate chips. Stir in with a fork or whisk until a thick, frosting-like substance is formed. This is ganache. Know it. Love it. It is your friend. If you already have leftover ganache, microwave for about a minute.

7. With the help of a spoon, roll your truffles in the ganache.

8. Decorate if desired (rainbows for me, of course!)

9. Keep refrigerated until serving. They will get a little melty, so be sure to keep them cold.

The insides will be moist and gooey, and the outside will provide a wonderful thick chocolate shell. I used french vanilla and dark chocolate and they turned out wonderfully! Some other good combinations would be amaretto cream with chocolate cake, or hazelnut with chocolate, caramel with white cake, or you could get adventurous! I use a lot of flavored creamers, and I can tell you that they have white chocolate macadamia nut, butter pecan, chai, toffee...so many to choose from, and combine with different kinds of cake!

Experiment, and impress people with this simple recipe, and tell Starbucks to fuck off once and for all.

Rainbow Scarf With Clouds

I made this scarf about 2 months ago or so, and since I just (finally) typed out the pattern on Ravelry, I figured I may as well write it out here, as well.

This pattern will use a single crochet, so your rainbow will be bright, and dense. This is definitely an improvement upon my last rainbow scarf, and as a matter of fact, this was the scarf I was wearing when someone stopped me on the street to ask me where I bought it. When I told them I had made it myself, they offered to buy a scarf from me! I have also received a -ton- of compliments on it, including a woman who told me I have the best single crochets she's ever seen, and if she didn't see me making it, she would think it had been done by a machine.

But don't get all intimidated by my ego here. When I made this scarf I had only bee crocheting for 9 months. I just practice a lot. Nothing crazy here. Also, I know the clouds look intimidating, but I promise those are easy, too!

This is the 1st pattern I’ve written out, so please let me know if anything is unclear.

Stitches (and abbreviations) you’ll need to know for this pattern:

ch - chain
sl st - slip stitch
sc - single crochet
ps - Puff stitch

For Puff stitch:

-Wrap the yarn over the hook, insert the hook below the chain. Wrap the yarn over the hook and draw through. There will be 3 loops on the hook.
-Wrap the yarn over the hook, insert the hook below the chain. Wrap the yarn over the hook and draw through. There will be 5 loops on the hook.
-Wrap the yarn over the hook, insert the hook below the chain. Wrap the yarn over the hook and draw through. There will be 7 loops on the hook.
-Wrap the yarn over the hook, pull the yarn through all 7 loops.
-Wrap the yarn over the hook, pull through(chain) to secure puff stitches at the top.

To make clouds:

ch 4. sl st to connect them in a circle. ch 1. Make 8 ps within ring. Connect ps with a sl st. ch 1. Now do 2 ps in the space between each ps. You will now have 16 ps. connect with a sl st. ch 1. Work 1 sc in the ps, and 1 sc in the space all the way around the circle. You will have 32 sc. Connect and tie off.

Repeat this circle 20 times.

Tie in all loose ends.

Using a tapestry needle, sew 3 circles together in a line, then 2 on top to make sort of a ‘pyramid’ (as pictured). Repeat this 4 times so you will have 4 ‘clouds’. Make them as symmetrical as possible.
Put the ‘wrong sides’ of 2 clouds together and connect them by sewing together the bottom 3 circles. Leave the top 2 circles open and un-sewn for now. So you will now have 2 clouds.

To make the rainbow:

Chain approximately 300 red. sc in every space. sc 4 rows, follow that with 4 sc rows of orange, yellow, green, blue, purple. This makes the rainbow approximately 5 1/2” wide and will fit nicely within your clouds.

Putting it all together:

Tuck the ends of the rainbow in between the open space of your clouds. Using white yarn and a tapestry needle, sew the clouds on your rainbow. Be sure your rainbow is exactly perpendicular to the clouds so it doesn’t get sewn on crookedly. Also, be sure to close up the sides of the clouds that aren't on the actual rainbow. Do this twice.

Now you have a dense, bright rainbow, and with the clouds on both sides of the rainbow, there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to wear it!

This is fairly time consuming, and requires a lot of patience (especially sewing the clouds to the rainbow without making it a crooked mess, not to mention doing a scarf completely in sc), but the results are worth it.

Enjoy!

Restoring my faith in humanity, one rainbow crochet project at a time.

I grew up in conservative Virginia, then I moved from conservative Virginia to conservative Wisconsin. I didn't think much of it growing up, on account of that was what I had known my whole life. It wouldn't have been an issue if I, too, were as close-minded as the people I went to school with and lived near, but I was different as soon as I had a concept of normalcy. I was a little different, and people responded cruelly. People were just rude, and that was something I dealt with. At certain times I dealt with it better than others, but it's just what I did.

When I moved to Madison (my first liberal city) last summer, people were still mean, but in a different way, and I had a more difficult time dealing with it. I tried different things, I tried ignoring it, I tried laughing it off, I even tried my tried-and-true methods of getting defensive and angry, but I found out that people were still just people. No matter where you go. It turns out that whether someone is liberal or conservative, they still occasionally feel the need to take their angst out on innocent bystanders. Say, the girl behind the counter selling movie tickets.

It wasn't until I decided to take on the task of making a rainbow scarf measuring 1.5 feet wide, and roughly 9 feet long that I realized how great living in Madison really is. I crochet at work quite a bit, and I get plenty of compliments, most of which I can smile coyly, mumble a 'thank you' and sell the nice person their movie tickets. In the past it's been everything from getting embarrassed about making a Gryffindor scarf, to faking conversations with people because I didn't have the guts to tell them I was crocheting, not knitting.

Then I brought the rainbow scarf to work. It wasn't a big deal to me. I was just going to crochet at work, I was expecting some slack for making it so big, but I didn't think that would be the worst of it. I can still hear people from the previous places I'd lived in taunting me, "What're you gay or something?"

No, I just like rainbows?

From being called a faggot, to being harassed to make out with other girls, I've heard it all. I was kind of nervous to bring a rainbow into public, maybe suffering from some PTSD, but my skin is thick, I even had comebacks ready.

So I'm at work, and an older woman comes up to the counter and says "Oh, I just love the colors!" Well that's new. Is someone actually just seeing this scarf for what it is: gloriously bright, bold, a little tacky and really loud? Well, yes, but maybe it's a fluke.

Then it happened again, and again. I heard it so many times, and every time I did I just warmed my heart. Then the 1^st really wonderful thing happened. An older woman came up and complimented it (blush, nod, say thank you, just like always), then asked me how long have I been crocheting.

"Oh, just since June."

"Just since June?" I thought she was going to tell me I should be further along, that I should be working on other things besides scarves, or to tell me that I had all winter to make scarves, and now it's March, learn to make something else, junior. But what she said threw me for a loop, and inspired the rest of my week.

"I've been thinking about signing up for a knitting class, but I didn't think I'd be able to do it, and seeing this, it's such an inspiration!" It was better than anything anyone had said to me in a long while. I barely knew what to do, the blushnodthankyou routine didn't work here, and my sincerest thanks rushed out of me, and I grinned. I grinned at work.

The scarf took me two weeks to complete. I worked on it everyday, and 10 out of those 14 days, I was at work for the majority of my work on it for the day. Not only had people been complimenting it, but I found that the general kindness I'd experienced was changing me. Suddenly no one was yelling at me. No one was telling me their life story and how hard it is to be them, and certainly no one has been calling me names. It wasn't that the 200,000 people of Madison suddenly liked me, but rather I was actually cheerful, and I was smiling at people, and being social and expressing myself to strangers in a positive way.

Many other things happened. I talked to many women about places to go for good yarn in Madison, I learned tips, I was generally inspired to keep moving forward with crocheting as a hobby. I regained faith in people, maybe not completely, but enough to grin at work, enough to smile at strangers, and enough to know that I can work on a rainbow for 10 days and not have a single person harass me for "being gay".

What a lovely city I live in.